Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Music
Years ago, back when I was 12 (how time flies T_T), I did the Spiritual Gifts test at church camp. At that time, the gift I got was 'Music'. At that time, I thought, hm, o-kaaay. I mean, I wasn't doing much, music-wise, back then.
I was learning piano, yes, but I couldn't, for the life of me, even decipher what the musical notes were in the songs I listened to. (On a side note, this desire to know what the notes to a certain song are, arose only after I'd heard Britney's "Everytime") At the same time, I didn't play the piano at church, because I sucked at it anyway, and I wasn't doing anything musically to serve God, so it felt silly to have this gift.
Basically, I brushed it off and went on with life.
I thought little of this "gift" I had and thought it was phony. I didn't even really consider it as a real gift.
But, fast forward 7 years and here I am, thinking about this and realising how this gift is showing up in my life now and how it HAS been in my life all along.
I mean, looking through my first diary, I realise that I actually wrote my very first song when I was 11, but at that time, I didn't realise what I had done. Before I knew Lady Gaga, before I knew Big Bang, before I knew what a singer-songwriter was, before I wanted to be one, I'd written a song. It was really silly, called "Crush On You", and musically-wise, it wasn't very good, 'cause it didn't have proper structure, but it was still my first effort (and yes, I CAN still sing it, but I will NEVER let anyone hear it, 'cause it's really silly).
Eventually, over the years, I improved in my piano/music skills. I started being able to decipher notes on a piano, the first song being "Kookaburra". It was a simple tune, but it was an accomplishment for me, to just suddenly be able to play a tune I'd heard. It happened towards the end of a piano lesson and I was so surprised that I could do that. I guess, that was the start for me and it enabled me to have the confidence to try to decipher the notes to other songs that I'd heard and liked. I'm still not very good at it, because I only know how to play the right hand to such tunes and am not able to play the accompaniment on the left hand, but I'm trying hard to learn that...
Also, I continued to write songs after that first song, not a lot (in fact, they were few & far between), but they did improve in structure. A little. ;) Of course, I didn't realise how that was benefitting my life until my desire to be a singer-songwriter surfaced, which was after I started liking Lady Gaga and Big Bang.
I mean, I learned about what a singer-songwriter was when I read an article about Avril Lavigne when she first debuted on the music scene. But, it never made such an impact on my life until I knew that the artists I liked wrote their own songs. And so, inspired by them, I started writing songs. The first official song I wrote was written in Nov 2009. It was called "Plunge Into The Unknown" and it took me about one and three quarts of an hour to write this. I remember that fact only because I was surprised that Gaga said she wrote her songs in 10-15 minutes and I wanted to know how long I took. And to clarify, no, I cannot write songs that fast. I'm just not that fast!
I can't remember how to sing most of it now, other than the chorus, sadly, but I really like the lyrics. And lyrics are really important. Especially when you write a song that's about God, or as I call it, a Christian song. (I guess most people also call it like that, fine) My first Christian song was written in sec 2 or 3 (I'm not sure 'cause I wrote it in a notebook), at night, hiding in one corner of my bedroom in the old house, using the light of the moon & street lamps to write it. And as I like to say, "The shit I wrote at sec 2 is better than some of the shit I write now."
That's me being negative about my self, as usual, I guess, but yeah, I believe that those lyrics are from God. Why? Because I still remember so clearly that there was one line in the song that I didn't even understand the meaning of and I had to ask Dawn to explain it to me later on when I realised I didn't properly understand it. Funny, huh? Writing stuff you don't even really know what you're writing about.
Anyway, to stop rambling on and on, I'm realising now that the gift of music is something that is real in me. It's not phony or something to be brushed aside, as I thought it was, previously. I'm surprised that I turned out this way and that I am at this point here, in life. I guess God wasn't joking when He put the gift of music as my first gift in that first Spiritual Gifts test I took.
Who knew that I'd grow to love music so much? Who knew that music would become such an integral+important part of my life? Who knew that I'd be writing songs on a regular basis? Who knew any of this stuff?
God did.
Interesting how He brought me to this point. And I'm interested to know where He brings me in the future.
As usual, a photo to end off the post. This time, I'm not posting a silly one.
(You can click to expand it if you want. This link opens in another window.)
This is a picture from my archives. Okay, I took this on Jeju Island when we went to Korea in early 2010, so, not very archive-y, fine. I love it because it shows the Sun's rays shining down onto the Earth.
My favourite part of nature, other than flowers, is the sky and I really love looking at it, because I feel that it's great expanse and beauty really showcases how great our God is. My favourite is when the sky is really blue (but unfortunately, that's when it's also VERY sunny :/), but I also love the night sky a lot, especially when there are stars. *-* (does that look like an emoticon to you? I think it does!)
♥ G'night!
Angeline♥
